Bullies seem to be in style now – we all have our Trump. And I have my own bully, my own personal bully – the kind one finds in a workplace. Research teaches me that this is not my first one. I simply have not recognized them.
In this new age of bullies – ones that torture children at school and through the internet, ones that get elected to high office, ones that lurk around the workplace – it felt reasonable to do a little online research to see if any of the pieces fit my situation, if any of the boxes could be checked.
All of the boxes could be checked for me as the classic target of a classic bully. Oddly, the discovery is liberating. I mean, even if I don’t escape the “attentions” of this person, I will still be free of the effect of those attentions. With time, opportunity, and careful cunning, I may be able to convince my tormentor to move on to some easier target.
That may sound cold-hearted – wishing the bully onto some other poor soul – but, nothing will ever stop the bully from being one. Sadly, there is no guarantee against picking up another one – like I said, I recognize that I have had at least 2 in the past 3 years. All one can do is shake them loose. Fortunately or unfortunately, both of those encounters resulted in a job loss for me. By the way, being the target of a bully in the workplace usually does result in the loss of your job according to research.
It’s not important to display details of this very stressful , insidious, and personal torture. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes with all manner of psychological influences and motivations. That one latches on to me (or you) is only a matter of matching up profiles. It is almost neither person’s fault. It is import to realize, also, that bullying is not illegal – it cannot be viewed as harassment unless it is clearly based in illegal discrimination.
The important thing for the target of the bully is to recognize what is happening and call it by its name. That simple gesture alone will relieve a lot of unhealthy stress and put one in the productive mindset that will enable escape from any further damage, professionally and emotionally, by the bully.
I’m still learning and I will share an important website :
If you suspect that you have become the target of workplace bullying, check out this very helpful website.